I Live For This!!

Sorry I haven’t written lately.

I’ve been busy teething (I LOVE biting the legs of Mommy’s pj’s–with her in them). Hey, whattaya want? I was only born June 14th, Flag Day.

Anybody seen any of my brothers or sisters? Who cares what happened to them?Not only am I the self-appointed PICK OF THE LITTER, I am the only way with my own e-mail address!

I LOVE this time of the year, love it, love it, love it! Of course, I wasn’t even alive the last time it came around, but it looks good to me.

Everyone is SO excited for the final week of the season. It’s like a bowlful of treats. And treats make me CRAZY!!!!

I’m only 3 1/2 months old and not only do I have an amazing command of the English language, but I can count, too. No, not count to two, I can count, too! Got it, Sparky?

I was waking up from a nap the other day when I heard some genius in the other room say there’s nothing certain in life except death and taxes.

Jeez!

You humans sure know how to have a good time! I just got here, so the death thing doesn’t play for me. And taxes? What the **** are taxes?

There is one other certainty: the St. Louis Cardinals have repeated as champions of the National Central.

That’s one for October. Did I mention my daddy is born October 20th, the same day as Mickey Mantle? And Keith Hernandez? And Dave Collins? And Arlene Francis?

Arlene Francis??

As we enter the best week of the baseball season, there are seven other spots ("Here, Spot, run"–I LOVE making dog references) still to be determined.

In the somebody-has-to-lead National West, the San Diego Padres, like a dog with no teeth, are trying to chew their way to the division title. They’re 77-78 AND THEY’RE IN FIRST PLACE!! The Milwaukee Brewers have the same record and they’re 19 games behind St. Louis in the Central.

You humans love phrases, so here’s another one: life’s not fair.

The Padres are a week away from embarrassing all of us and poopie on their shoes if they do!

They could be the first team to go to the post-season with a losing record. The closest was the 1973 New York Mets who played like dogs on fire in September and finished 82-79, three games over .500.

The Padres have a four-game lead over the San Francisco Giants and guess who they play three times this week?  The Giants are 9 GAMES UNDER .500 AND THEY’RE IN SECOND PLACE!!

And I was starting to get concerned back home in Colorado that I wasn’t gonna be adopted?

The Padres can clinch the division during that series.

Like death and taxes (ugh), the Atlanta Braves are about to clinch their 14th consecutive division title, almost a century in dog years and that’s a lotta years! All seriousness aside, no team in any sport may ever come close to this record.

Think about it: this streak has been going on for so long, the Braves began it playing in the old National League WEST–before not one expansion, but two!

The Wild Card has come down to Houston and Philadelphia, who, this October, will be celebrating the 25th anniversary of one of the most memorable but least talked about National League Championship Series.

The Phillies have a three-game series with the Mets, who have played them tough all year.

The Astros have to play in St. Louis. To me, that’s like being taken for a walk in 105-degrees.

The American League is where most of the drama is and I LOVE DRAMA!!!

Just as nature intended, the Yankees and Red Sox begin the week tied for first place in the East. There is the very real possibility that either the defending champion–the first for Boston in 602 YEARS, or since the Renaissance of 1503–or a team with a $205 million dollar payroll goes home. It’s thatclose for the division title and the wild card.

Just like laying around the house alone and starting to get the urge–THAT urge–and one of the parents comes home just in time for the walk, that’s the perfect timing for the Yankees and Red Sox. They get the chance to beat each others brains out when they finish the season with three games at Fenway.

But, first, the Red Sox have to play Toronto, tough on them all season, while the Yankees are in Baltimore, who, some meanies say, are playing like dogs.

Wait, there’s more.

The Cleveland Indians finish the season at home against Chicago. The taillights that were in the distance when the Sox led the division by 15 games on August 1st have suddenly gotten real large. The Indians beat the White Sox twice in three games last week at their place.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Southern California of California of the United States of the Western Hemisphere of the planet Earth, third rock from the Sun, have a four game lead over the comparatively simple Oakland A’s.

But here’s something else you can get your teeth into: the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Californ (oh, I’m not doing THAT again) begin the week with four, count ’em, four games in Oakland.

Man, I LOVE a good fight !! But the fight has to be fair. I mean, it can’t be a pit bull that suddenly picks up a poodle with his teeth and has him for lunch).

Hey, that made me hungry.

Now, send me some e-mail!!

Good dog!!

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